For the past four months I’ve been doing a weekly video blog project on my IG and Facebook accounts. Basically, I’ve been going through the alphabet and focusing on one letter each week, choosing a word that starts with that letter and then spending 1-2 minutes speaking about how that particular word relates to my personal growth journey. This past week was focused on the letter Q, and I chose to talk about how I find it challenging to sit in quiet.

I am one of those people who loves background noise. Maybe it’s from growing up in an urban environment, but silence has always made me feel slightly anxious and uncomfortable. No matter what I’m doing, I always have some kind of noise going on in the background. Whether it’s a podcast, music, or a movie I’ve seen 20 times before, I find it comforting to be surrounded by a low level of chatter and noise. Up until a few years ago, I couldn’t go to bed without the TV on because I needed the comfort of the noise and light in the background to fall asleep. Thankfully, I’ve kicked that habit, but I still don’t like sleeping in silence. I’ve basically traded the TV for a sound machine and my Aura app, and I now fall asleep listening to stories being read in a calming and soothing British accent, with the equally delightful sounds of a thunderstorm or ocean waves in the background.

I suppose my need for background noise might sound contradictory considering I purposely moved to a rural community to be away from the constant noise and traffic that comes with big city living, and I truly enjoy spending time alone. One of my favorite things to do is sit by myself on my porch swing, or go on a solo drive where you see nothing but fields and farms for miles and miles. When I lived in Washington, my go-to for solitude was hiking in the woods behind my house. There is something so incredibly awe-inspiring and humbling about being 2-3 miles into a hike surrounded by nothing but trees, trees, and more trees, and feeling so remote that if you were to stray off the path, you’d be lost and have no idea where you were.

But as much as I love the visual aesthetic and eerie feeling of being alone in the woods, taking a solo rural road trip, or sitting on my porch swing watching a sunset, I don’t particularly care for the silence of communing with nature, and I find it much more enjoyable with a podcast or some music playing in the background. However, since I’m on this whole personal growth journey, I’m challenging myself with doing things that take me out of my comfort zone. So, learning to sit with myself in silence, at least for a few minutes a day, is one of the things I’ve started to experiment with.

It’s not that being alone with my thoughts is uncomfortable. I think it’s more about that fact that it’s incredibly difficult for me to quiet my mind. When I’m sitting in silence, all of the thoughts in my head just seem to get louder and more demanding, and I end up getting overwhelmed by my mental “to-do” lists. I guess in a weird way, I feel like I have better focus and concentration, and I’m way more productive when there’s noise in the background.

The exception to this is when I’m writing, such as at this moment, when I’m sitting quietly in my office with the only noise being the clack of the keys as I’m typing, the whirring sound of the ceiling fan, and the occasional loud bangs and creaking overhead as my metal roof settles in the heat. Then again, I’ve also yawned about 30 times in the past 15 minutes, and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, so I’m not sure how productive this really is…

However, all tiredness aside, my point is this: When I take the time to ask myself an important question, and I actually lean into the quiet, that’s often when I get the answer. It may come in the form of a burst of inspiration, the solution to a problem, a point blank direct answer, or just an awesome idea that’s in alignment with my purpose. But it’s always something.

Intentionally leaning into the quiet is also when I hear my intuitive thoughts with the most clarity. My intuition still comes through when there’s background noise, but I have to admit it’s way more vibrant and definitive when I’m sitting in silence. And since I’m really making a point to connect more deeply with my intuition, I’m going to have to be more intentional with spending a few minutes each day listening to what it’s trying to tell me without my usual distractions in the background (such as the dogs that are now barking loudly in the living room adjacent to my office…).

So, if you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed or confused, and you’re looking for an answer, or you’re just looking for that next brilliant idea for your business or a project, try sitting in silence for a few minutes. Go outside at night and sit quietly under the stars. Take a solo walk. Grab a coffee and go to the park. Or just go to your favorite room and shut the door. The answers are there. Sometimes you just have to lean into the quiet to hear them.

Unapologetically Outspoken,

Tara