You know those people who go on social media to look at other people’s shit, but you rarely see them post anything themselves? No, not the assholes who troll the internet to make shitty comments while hiding behind their phone or computer screen. I’m talking about the people who occasionally get on Facebook or IG or X or (insert your favorite social media platform here) to check out what their friends and family or favorite celebrities / influencers are up to, but they don’t share much of their own content. The people who find value in watching personal development YouTube videos and wonder how the hell the creator came up with the cool ideas and graphics. The people who can’t figure out how to make a duet on TikTok and who never understood the point of SnapChat. Yeah, I’m one of those people. Which, frankly, presents a problem because one of my goals this year is to significantly grow my podcast audience, and it’s kind of difficult to do that without focusing on creating a strong social media presence.

I used to tell myself it was an age thing. Like an old man ranting about the good old days of rotary phones and how he doesn’t understand modern cellphones, I equated my lack of knowledge about posting social media content to the fact that I grew up before it became the primary mode of communication. I’ve allowed this idea to perpetuate by frequently telling myself and others that I’m technologically retarded. But in all honestly, it’s not a lack of knowledge, it’s a lack of interest. I mean, the lack of knowledge is definitely a thing, but I’m not stupid. I could probably learn how to make cool videos and engaging posts if I really wanted to. I guess my point is that I don’t want to. But why?

For a long time, I pretended my aversion to posting on social media was for privacy concerns. Being a cop, I used the excuse that I wanted to keep my life “confidential,” so the only social media platforms I had were Instagram and YouTube. I posted some random pictures on IG throughout the years, but I mostly had it for the hilarious political memes, and YouTube has always been where I follow inspirational mindset and educational content. I didn’t even have a Facebook account until a couple years ago when I was required to create one for a couple of professional mastermind groups I joined.

When I left my law enforcement career and started the blog and podcast, I knew that social media was going to be part of the big picture, but I still shied away from actively creating content. Fortunately, Stephanie is awesome with this stuff, so I left it in her hands to handle the “tech” side of things. For a while, I told myself I just needed to get out of my comfort zone, so I started a project last year where I got on IG and Facebook every week to post a short inspirational video. Initially I was going to put the videos on YouTube as well, but after the first two, I said to myself, “Nah, fuck it. Sending it to my friends and family is good enough…”

I did this project for about 7 or 8 months, and even though it wasn’t necessarily difficult, I dreaded making these videos and had to literally talk myself into it every week, usually putting it off until late Sunday afternoon. I only followed through with it because I had publicly committed to making the videos, and I like to keep my word and honor my commitments. But if I’m being honest with myself, that’s not even true in this situation. I gladly gave up on the project when I was in the process of getting ready to move overseas because I told myself I no longer had time for it. Yet I still made time to get on Zoom with Stephanie and record a podcast three times a week… hmm. Ultimately, I had to call bullshit on myself for my excuses.

When the dust had settled from my chaotic move, I told Stephanie I would start making content for TikTok, so she didn’t have to take on all the responsibility. I posted a couple of very basic videos, and I noticed it was giving me anxiety to even create them, much less post them. I also noticed that I’d occasionally think about posting some cool pictures of my European adventures on IG and Facebook, but these thoughts end up being fleeting, and I always let them pass without any action. I did post a series of pics on my private accounts for friends and family who were asking for updates, but even that made me feel cringey.

So, back to the question of why I’m so adverse to posting on social media. Yes, it’s a major contradiction (very Libra of me, of course) because I have no problem putting myself out there in public with the podcast, and I’m totally comfortable with the fact that our episodes and clips are on multiple social media platforms. In fact, I love it. Same thing goes for the blog, which is easily accessible to the public online and not confined to my “friend” list, like my social media accounts.

Is it because I’m intimidated or sensitive to the haters or afraid of being rejected? Nope, we get plenty of haters with the podcast episodes, and it hasn’t discouraged me one bit. Is it because I’m worried about looking stupid? Nope, I say stupid shit on every podcast episode, consistently mispronouncing names and places, and we don’t edit our episodes, so all my mistakes are out there for the world to see. I’m pretty sure if we did a compilation of my mishaps, it would rival Biden’s. Okay, maybe not quite that bad, but you get my point. So, what the fuck is the problem?   

Honestly, I just don’t feel authentic posting solo videos and clips on social media. And since my platform is all about being authentic and standing up for what you believe in, this presents a problem. Yes, I am all about doing “hard things,” and I want to grow my podcast audience, but I also believe the steps I take in this process need to be in alignment with my core values, one of which is authenticity.

I think what it comes down to for me is passion, inspiration, and personal connection. I LOVE co-hosting a podcast. I love the hours of research and preparation and note taking. I never feel like it’s a chore or an obligation, and I love the feeling of empowerment and satisfaction I get from speaking out about the things I believe are important. I have always enjoyed being in leadership roles, and it literally thrills me to be able to inspire other people and encourage them to think independently.

But the key word here is “co-hosting.” My favorite thing about doing the podcast is the conversational aspect. The back and forth with Stephanie. This is what lights me up. This is what feels authentic and “right” for me – engaging one-on-one with another person; not me getting on social media posting videos or pictures of myself. I have total respect for people who enjoy doing this, but I’ve finally figured out that I just don’t. I guess it’s that simple, and I feel relieved to finally be saying it for what it is and not making excuses for why I suck at social media.

Oh, and Stephanie, if you’re reading this, I’m truly sorry for my poor contributions to this area of our partnership. Thank you for doing such a kick-ass job with our TikTok account. You are amazing. I promise I’m going to make it up to you by scheduling some cool podcast guests.

My question for my readers is, am I the only one who feels this way? Are there other creative and outspoken people out there who want to make a positive impact on the world but who just don’t feel authentic posting on social media? Or is it just me…?

Unapologetically Outspoken,

Tara